My faith and beliefs keep me sane.

“Christianity is not a religion. It’s a relationship. It’s divinity at work in humanity”

Interesting revelations for a young lady who grew up being taught several times in school that Christianity is just another religion.

Even more interesting because everytime we’re presented with official forms to fill, we still indicate Christianity under the column that demands that we provide information on our religion.

Fun fact is the paraders of “Christianity is not a religion” will still indicate that they are Christians under any authority that demands that they provide details of their religion.

That notwithstanding, whether Christianity is a religion or not,

I can confidently say that the beliefs and doctrines of faith I have acquired in Christianity, are what keeps me sane during the crazy cycles, happenings and circumstances of life.

When situations go left, I can always say and believe that ‘All things work together for my good’.

When posed with a seemingly difficult task, I always proclaim and believe that ‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me’.

When in competition with the masses I can boldly say and believe that ‘I can never be disadvantaged’.

It’s a strong belief system. One that took several years to build. I doubt anything can break it.

Several years of being taught the doctrines of ‘my religion’ (or not).

Several years of going to church, of constantly listening or being programmed (If I’m allowed to say that).

I know you can relate. We can all relate.

On days when we feel like: “what is life really?”

“What is the essence of life?”

“Things are going so bad I don’t even want to continue with this life anymore”

On days when we feel totally worthless and down to nothing,

WE PRAY.

We speak to our God. The God we’ve been taught to believe.

With prior knowledge that there’s something greater than this life.

That there’s a supreme being out there who is constantly looking out for us.

That there’s someone or something so divine out there that we can always call on to come through for us when things don’t seem to go our way.

When everything feels so dark and gloomy.

So no matter how many times we question our beliefs,

No matter how many times we might even doubt the efficacy of our faith,

No matter how many times we may question the absolute reality of what is and what is not,

Religion or not,

We will all agree that it is the only thing that seems to keep us sane in a very crazy world!

Throughout the changing scenes of life, and I must say,

That’s really something worth holding on to! … XoXo❤

When the past is embarrassing.

Sometimes we take stock of our lives and we literally cringe from embarrassment.

“How could I allow that to happen?”

“How could I be so dumb?”

I’m definitely not the only one who has these thoughts am I?

The past shows up in our memories to embarass us from time to time.

To remind us of how silly we once were.

How gullible, naive or foolish we once might have been.

Regardless of these, I believe the purpose of these flashbacks from time, is not solely to embarass or to remind us of how daft we once might have been.

I’m of the strong belief that these visits from the past show up ever so often to remind us of the lessons.

To show us how far we’ve come.

To make sure we’re not repeating those mistakes.

To ensure we really learnt our lessons.

Most importantly, to give us a pat on the back for progress.

So the next time a cringeworthy memory from the past shows up,

You gotta smile and give yourself some credit.

You’ve come so far.

You’ve learnt so much.

You’ve evolved so much.

Those cringeworthy moments were really worth it after all.

See how much wiser you are now!

How smart you are now!

You deserve some accolades!

Xoxo❤

On Being Yourself

How many times haven’t we attempted to fit in?

Slowly chipping away awesome pieces of ourselves just to be considered cool.

To be considered likable.

To be accepted as part of the squad.

Gradually ignoring who we are.

Gradually sinking our voices.

Burying our unique identities.

Hiding behind things we hate just to be considered cool.

To the lady who pretends to like football just to be seen as likable by a potential partner.

To the guy who pretends to like alcohol just to be considered part of the squad.

To the lady struggling in high heels, knowing very well how much you’ll rather be rocking a pair of sneakers.

To the guy confused amidst the crowd and loud noise in the club, when you’re so certain you’ll rather be cuddled up in bed to some ‘Netflix and chill’

To the lady still struggling with makeup when it’s really not your thing!

It’s okay to be different.

Different means unique.

Different is beautiful.

Different is sexy.

How do you feel constantly chipping away those awesome characteristics of yourself just to fit in?

How much longer can you pretend?

Your unique identity is constantly hiding behind your pseudo-self.

Constantly screaming to be seen.

To be heard.

To be appreciated.

To be accepted for who you are.

Set her free.

Set him free.

Quit the pretence.

You’ll be so glad you did!

… XoXo❤

This too shall pass.

Today is just one of those days where I beat myself up.

I beat myself up over the past.

Specifically past mistakes.

Choices I’ve made.

Regret tastes really sour in my mouth.

It’s nauseating.

I want to throw up.

My heart is not doing me any good either.

I can feel it hurting.

I can feel it bleeding.

I can feel it being extra as usual.

There’s a lump in my throat.

A lump of regret.

A lump of painful memories of the past.

A lump of tears.

My mind has gone haywire.

“What if? How could I? If only. I wish.”

Thoughts of regret.

Thoughts of the past.

I soak it all in.

My emotions are at their peak today.

But this time I don’t fight it.

This time I don’t brush it of.

I won’t toughen it out.

I’ve done that countless times.

This time I let it run it’s course.

Because I know without a doubt,

That this too shall pass.

…. XoXo❤

The writer’s struggle.

I want to share with the world, the most intimate parts of me.

I would love to share with you what goes on in the depths of my mind.

Sometimes I type it all out, and then I delete.

Are you not giving out too much information? I ask myself.

The struggle between sharing and oversharing.

I yearn to find the balance.

I would love to bless my audience with what goes on in the deepest and darkest realms of my mind.

I would love to share with you my emotions, in its purest and most undiluted forms.

I would love for you to know my greatest fears, deepest passions and the flames that set my soul on fire.

I would love my writing to consume you;

With rage, with love, with fear, with compassion.

With whatever emotion it can extract out of you.

I would love to give you a sneak peak into my world.

I can’t help but feel that I’m not bold enough.

That I’m not daring enough.

I really cannot help but feel that my audience deserve more than I give.

For the simple fact, that I’m made up of so much more……XoXo❤

Faith or delusion?

Humans from all walks of life yearn to be connected to a deity of some sort. A higher power. A supernatural force. Hindu or Buddhist, Muslim or Christian, we’re all trying to make some meaning out of life. Where did we come from? Where do we go from here? Always trying to put the pieces together. Even atheist want so earnestly to believe in something. The universe, horoscopes, karma and so on.

The belief in a supernatural being is usually the only thing that makes sense or usually our only source of hope to turn things around for our good, and the only source of hope that everything will work out just fine especially when things go haywire and we don’t seem to have all the answers.

But where do we draw the line between faith and delusion?

More often than not we tend to believe in a higher power to magically sort everything out for us when the answers are right before us. We treat people poorly whilst simultaneously expecting God to meet our needs, forgetting that most times, prayers are answered through people. The ones we despise. Even the ones we hate with a passion. Sometimes these very ones are the solution to requests we spend weeks and months praying about.

“Take it to the Lord in prayer” “Give it to God and sleep”

But what is faith without corresponding action?

We’re constantly waiting in earnest expectation for a miracle, when we can BE THE MIRACLE. Look around you. You’re probably God’s answer to someone’s dying need. Maybe the answer to that thing you’ve been praying about has been right under your nose all this while.

Don’t just pray and sleep. Keep your ears on the ground for your answer. Answered prayers usually come in the form of aunties, uncles, sisters, cousins, neighbours, bosses, strangers, pending mails in your inbox, unanswered whatsapp messages, and more often than not, the answer is You!

Ephesians 3:20 New King James Version (NKJV)
‘Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think,according to the power that WORKS IN US.’

~XoXo💕

The subtle art of letting sleeping dogs lie

Experience has taught me that sometimes, rekindling old flames may just lead to an unwarranted explosion. Sometimes, it’s just best to leave situations the way they are, no matter how hard you think you can work to get the outcome you so much desire.

Despite my unwavering belief that anything is possible, I’m gradually beginning to learn that, sometimes, just sometimes, no matter how hard you try, certain things are just not meant to be. That maybe fate or destiny is actually a thing, even though i havent really given those words much thought.

In a very short period of time, I’ve had quite a number of learning and unlearning to do, and one thing that life has forced me to learn in this short span of time, is the subtle art of letting sleeping dogs lie.

I’ve come to learn that sometimes for your own sanity and peace of mind, you have to let things take their natural course. I usually have a hard time letting things happen by chance because I’m a great believer in taking charge of situations and the environment, causing things to happen according to laid out plans in order to achieve my desired outcomes.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!” That’s a mantra I live by. I always believe I can do, be or achieve anything once I put my mind to it! So leaving things to chance, lettings things take their natural course or leaving things to fate is just a very difficult thing to do.

I’m not there yet, but recent experiences have taught me that sometimes, just sometimes, I’ll have to muster an impressive level of restraint, and let sleeping dogs sleep peacefully…😊

…XoXo❤

It is indeed that sense of entitlement…

It is indeed that sense of entitlement…

The one that informs us that a friend must return our calls or reply our texts once they see them lingering in their logs.

The one that tells us our boyfriends and/or girlfriends have to take us out and shower us with expensive gifts on our birthdays.

The one that informs parents to expect their children to take care of them and reciprocate the favours of care and affection in their old age.

The one that informs ladies that boyfriends have to be financially stable and supportive in all endeavours.

The one that informs young men to expect an exchange of pleasantries just because they reached out to a lady in the dms.

The one that informs my crush that I must agree to go out on a date with him because he asked politely.

The one that informs us to expect immense support from our friends and loved ones for our start-ups and small businesses.

The one that informs citizens that existing governments must create jobs and offer waivers on public services.

The one that informs the husband that his wife must cater to him at all cost because he paid the price for it.

The one that informs husbands to expect wives to yield to their sexual advances regardless of their state of mind, mood or present health condition.

The one that informs bosses to expect loyalty and unwavering commitment from their employees.

It is also the same sense of entitlement…

That leaves us disappointed and broken-hearted when our expectations cannot be met.

The one that leaves us twisted and in our feelings when things don’t seem to go our way.

The one that constantly leaves us with a bitter taste in our mouth.

Have you ever thought about it?

Have you ever imagined?

That maybe the aftermath is just life’s way of telling us…

To expect less or nothing at all.

To be grateful for those who constantly seem to come through for us.

Friends and family alike, or even the government.

For the ones who are always at our beck and call.

The ones who don’t hesitate to provide aid or assistance in any way they can once we reach out to them.

The ones who are always there.

The ones who constantly pledge their infallible loyalty to us not just through words, but consistently through their actions.

Maybe instead of always expecting so much from these ones…

Maybe we should choose gratitude instead.

Because if you give it a thought…

Nobody really owes you anything.

Either by virtue of association or even by blood.

So it’s probably time to drop that sense of entitlement, and choose gratitude as a way of life…XoXo❤

True Love. He’s the one!

I find it very intriguing that a vast majority of people (especially women) believe that in this sea full of beautiful, glorious, sexy looking fishes, there’s only one particular fish that is meant for you! Whaat??! Whilst I do not fault anyone who believes in having only one true love on the face of this planet, or anyone that believes that there’s only one person out there in this world of a gazillion people for him or her (because I blame it on the fairytales: Cinderella, Sleeping beauty, blah blah *rolls eyes*), I honestly think that totally entrusting all faith into such a concept is so much of a reach.

Sadly, that explains why a lot of women continually stay in abusive and/or emotionally manipulative relationships when they feel a tad bit of attachment, infatuation or ‘butterflies in the stomach’ *rolls eyes again*. It also explains why when the aforementioned relationships end, many of these women are left devasted and/or suicidal to say the least. Why do you keep doing this to yourself sis?

Today I make a bold and grand statement to every woman out there who believes that there’s only one person in the entire world meant for them.That is absolute BS! A fallacy! A myth! A concept created for little girls in fairytales. Throw the whole theory away!

Now with that being said, why don’t you give Kwaku across the street a chance, if it didn’t work out with Kwame in Biology class? What about Kofi? The guy who is always dropping hints in your dm and whatsapp chat. Why don’t you just accept to go out on that date with him? Why so stuck up sis? The concept of ‘the one’ is a fib and you need to let go off that notion and explore your options! If it didn’t work out with Kwaku, there are lots of new and improved versions of Kwaku out there in the world waiting to rock your world, so give yourself a break!

As you might have as well noticed, it’s Friday! So tonight, let your hair down, forget about the bum who broke your heart in high school, put on some hot stilettos, splash on some red lipstick and it’s probably time to try out that little black dress withering away in your locker and go out swimming in this magnificent sea full of beautiful, handsome and glorious fishes waiting in line to rock your world!

And oh, sip on some champagne whilst you’re at it because life is too precious to be wasted on one blind fish who wasn’t privileged enough to see your worth!

Happy New Month Loves😊…XoXo❤

Let’s talk FEMINISM!

It’s 2018, women are bolder and more liberated than before. Women are CEOs, COOs, CFOs, heads of divisions, heads of departments and supervisors in several industries across the globe. From high-end multinationals to SMEs. From Asia to Africa, women are being voted into power. Women are making healthier choices and living life as they please. Women are more vocal about their sexual preferences and experiences. Women are ‘shooting shots’ at men they find attractive. Women are paying for dates and getaways in luxury hotels across the world. Heck some women are no longer sitting around waiting to be proposed to. Women are buying expensive rings and going on their knees to propose to the men in their lives!

Yes, all the aforementioned are just to reiterate how far we’ve come as women! Women have evolved in several ways than can be imagined. The 21st century woman, is indeed a force to be reckoned with. Yet in this Big Big 2018, women are still being slut-shamed and labelled ‘hoes’ for expressing sexual liberation and their unwavering love for sex! Feminists are still labelled bitter and angry for being so vocal about their disgust for patriarchy and every other societal construct that aims to belittle women and rob them of their simple desire to be free to make choices as they please, without being considered less of a woman or any less ‘marriage material.’ Women are still being told not to be ‘too ambitious’ else they’ll intimidate men and remain single for the rest of their lives. Women are still being paid lesser than their male counterparts in the same profession, with the same degree, skills and qualifications. Women are still being told to forget about their dreams and aspirations and aspire to marriage, which is supposed to be the ‘ultimate goal’ for every woman.

A wealthy woman with a great career, coupled with several accomplishments and accolades is still considered unworthy and unhappy till she experiences the ‘rare privilege’ of being called a wife. Women are still being mentored to talk a certain way, dress a certain way and behave a certain way just to be considered likeable and worthy of marriage.

Feminists are labelled dreamers and jokers to say the least, just because they can even fathom the idea of equal rights and privileges between the sexes, to even consider being vocal and loud about it in the first place. Highly educated women, enjoying the privileges handed down to them by the ‘loud’ and ‘bitter’ feminists before them, still shy away from the word feminism and any association with it, all in a bid to maintain their likeability to their male counterparts.

Nonetheless, it fills my heart with joy, when I see the select few amongst women, who still remain vocal and loud about feminism. The women who wear the feminist badge with pride, despite the many hullabaloos attached to the word. The few brave women, who insist that patriarchy is an obsolete system that can no longer thrive in this day and age. The women who raise their daughters to live life on their own terms. The women who continuously stand their ground, relentless and resilient in their quest to throw more light on feminism and it’s enormous benefits to both male and female. The women who don’t give up. The heroines of our time. You fill my heart with joy. Michael Jackson said and I quote(may his precious soul rest in peace💕): “Heal the world, make it a better place.” Keep shining….XoXo❤